No, the title is not a kind of Meguca Meduka (tm)
joke, I really mind it
I have told you (anyone who read my journal(s) before, thank you for spending some of your time
) that recently, I decided to focus my previously half-assed-jack-of-all-trade skills to only one thing: writing. Months have passed until that decision, and I must say that writing is a similar, yet entirely different work than drawing, or other kinds of work.
First of all, writing requires a ton of concentration. I realized that some people could write anything that popped out from his head spontaneously, but that's not the case for me.
While I could write freely in non- narrative texts, I decide to keep everything in a nice, structured outline, and then proceed to fill it with texts.
And there's the tricky part lies. I usually create a plot-to-plot point outline, and they're still good in my early imagination. But when I jump to the real script, things turned out ugly. It's hard to make every character and actions to act and flow naturally, and the slowly the plot turned into a giant ball of mess the more I keep writing forward.
And that's the another hell. Writing is a huge job to do
While drawing, you can easily zoom out to see the whole picture of your works. In other side, zooming your Microsoft Word to 5% won't solve any of your problems at all (or is there any? lol)
My current work is at 20k++ words, and I'm now in a writer-block state. I just felt that things are already too messy for me to continue, but I can't find any good place to start redoing things. Meanwhile, the "to-edit" list already grown into a long list, and I guess I made a mistake of ignoring them until I find that I can't move anymore with the current chaos in script (I edited some, but the more I edit, the more I found something that I need to improve)
Okay, "So just move your ass and do the editing!", you say? Yeah, I know that. But in current state, for some reason I just feel that I need to rewrite most of the script from scratches. It's hard to find a middle ground of being idealist and realist in writing, as I always think that "This part sucks, I need to somehow made it to be better".
I know that grumbling won't bring me anywhere, but I just like to transfer some of my uneasy feelings to words, and then throw it away. Writing is a much more solitary work compared to drawing, and it's hard to share your anxiety at writing to other people. Once again, reading is also a much longer activity rather than appreciating pictures, so it's hard to make people to even read your works (Although I'm still not really confident in showing my writings to public, although I already did it in GENDAY, an event in my university)
Anyway, I'll end my complains here. Actually, there's also a big, serious problem that prevent me to keep moving forward: a health issue. But I guess I will not write a longer post than this current length >.<
In the end, there's no other way for me rather than keep my legs to move forward at any cost. I'll just keep one thing in my mind :
"One thing that will make you improve over time is an ability to acknowledge and realize if you're still sucks"
Why? So that you can keep your expectation balanced and realizes that you still have a plenty of room to improve yourself